I am keeping this post a bit light this week because of the loss of my dear pet.
We gravitate to the jobs that we like to do, and sometimes those jobs can benefit the boat. Here is a list of jobs that have been dedicated to us, either by choice or by rote.
Lindsay-
Chief hair removal officer- not what it sounds like. I round up tumbleweeds of hair that accumulate in every corner of the boat, because we are both hairy apes and we shed. Then I toss those tumbleweeds into the wind.
Unofficial namer of whimsical sailboat parts. I make up names that sound vaguely british and might or might not be accurate titles of sails and parts. Futtocks, mitsens, barks, gaffes pakoois.
Spell chequer- Because the NYT crossword doesn’t like the artistic spelling approximations that some of us use.
Night Hatch closer- The superhuman ability to hear the rain coming and sit bolt upright in bed to close the hatch before the storm opens on our heads.
Keeper of fish names. I exist with the privilege of letting Fairy Basslets and Sarcastic Fringeheads live rent free in my head.
Animal narrator- I can, with a 97% accuracy rate, know exactly what boat dogs are trying to tell us, or what the fish who live on our prop are telling each other. Also known as a very specific form of ESP.
Paul-
Official coffee brewer. This is huge- it gives him the upper hand in almost any disagreement. The coffee maker is the light bringer.
Singer of the wrong words, remembers movie quotes, mostly. You know what he’s going for, and that’s enough.
Current checker, and underwater monster sighter. We haven’t found a monster yet, but because he jumps in first every morning while I ostensibly watch how far he drifts to “check the current” and make sure he isn’t gobbled up. He selflessly puts himself at their possibly imagined mercy.
Spicy Sauce- Paul makes sure everything we eat has that extra kick, and sometimes two or three extra kicks. West Indian Hot Sauce, Sriracha, You name it.
Hatch Opener- Always hot, might be related to being so spicy, always opening those hatches to let the breeze in.
Wind noticer- He’s carried this talent with him ever since I’ve known him. Usually it begins with “Today is a good day for sailing” while gazing out in the direction of a rustling sound- except now we live on a sailboat, so it’s usually a good day for sailing. Sometimes followed by our inside joke of “ the wind”….like from the major motion picture…. “Wind”.
This is an active list that is constantly getting additions. When you live on a boat, the work is never done.
Ta ta for now-
Lindsay and Paul
TIBURON MARINO 